He ignores my calls like im some kind of stalker chick
Ive only called 5 times
New rule: no balls on the kitchen counter.
she pinky promised me she was 18
there's just a random girl here singing about how much she loves fiber
I remember coming home with a cat... I havent seen it all day. Shit.
I'm sitting in the corner at the bar with a poolstick in case a brawl breaks out. Some crazy shit is going down and I'm trying to show my feathers like a horny peacock.
I'm not sure what happened. But I must have won because I obviously stole two full pitchers of beer from the bar and taped a note on them saying "your welcome"
after i talked him through a bulleted list of why we couldn't have sex he just said "but it would be fun...."
Dude, I traded weed for crunch berries. Happy Thursday.
I said his dick tasted like a Hawaiian Sweet Roll. And then I yelled MAHALO.
Just threw up in the shower. Hangovers at 23 are the best.
The ecstacy made me so dehydrated I started licking condensation off car windows
After we finished having sex, he drunkenly tried to hugh five me, farted, then accused me of stealing his socks.
I tried to help you up but you said "let me dance it off"
Btw I appreciate you as a friend for taking the time to validate my sluttiness
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