First, he can't make me cum.. And now, he can't get it up because he LOVES me?!!??! i don't think so.
My favorite part of the day is the 2 seconds of ignorance you have when you first wake up. Right before you remember where your mouth was last night.
I just remembered yelling "they're gonna let me be a lawyer! Me! Why would they do that?"
What are the odds of finding the one hot Australian dude with erecile dysfunction?
Life isn't about who you kiss, drunk, at midnight. It's who you text nonsense to, sober, from the toilet.
When did angry sex become our thing?
He's not replying to my booty call. Like wtf. You have ONE PURPOSE IN LIFE.
I'm watching Russian dudes pole-dance. For research.
you guys have a strange definition of the word fun. I would have said dangerous, terrifying, or life-threatening. of course, bowling can now be described the same way.
You made out with both twins? Ten points to you!
guess who got crunk and thought it would be a good idea to give herself a pixie cut?
THOUGHT
I think you're literally the first guy to ever pick up a chick from pinterest.
I responded like every reasonable adult would. With a gif
Everyone in Columbus is two degrees of separation from my vagina.
Was picked up in the middle of a bar full of people...apparently I'm not tall enough to reach for drunken makeouts. I'm proud of myself.
Randomize
