we took turns throwing up in the kitchen sink last night...no i am not doing the dishes
great idea involving lots of fake blood and face paint, call me tomorrow.
You emptied out your taco and asked the lady for a refill...and then you continued to carry out a full conversation SCREAMING
Apparently it is impossible to get kicked out of taco bell....I'll try harder next time
In the pie chart of my life, she is a huge part of why I drink.
I woke up with my panties in the cat food dish, and everything covered in honey and bruises.
It was like a square peg in a round hole... I've never seen one shaped like a stick of butter...
This was the first time I've ever pushed myself until I vomited. Sorry, random couple laying on a dock at 8:30am. I would have picked a better spot so you didn't have to watch/listen to me vomit, but you guys were being MAD quiet. I had no idea you were there.
I woke up at 4 am to a guy curled up in the fetal position sobbing in our front yard. Oh college.
I feel like shit, and I can't get the band aids off my nipples.
I'm trying to find a fanny pack so I can bring pizza on my run
and that's when you shouted "ahh motherland" as you streaked down hall 4B
Ate 5 hotdogs today. You need to get me back on my tequila diet cause this shit has to stop!
not only did I call my ex crying but drunk me also deleted the phone log so I had no warning when I saw him in class
what are you up to?
it's 8pm, i've already showered and gotten in bed. if you wanted to make plans u should have asked 3 months in advance
Have you considered murder?
Other than my credit score and this bowl of oatmeal, not really. It's very messy
Randomize
