Well douche your snatch and let's go!
It doesn't have to be a walk of shame...just pretend he took you to breakfast.
No one shows this much boob at breakfast
god I hate her. why can't she just fuck and leave like a normal slut.
"auto-tuned camel" is how i'd describe the noises she made
His facebook says he is a fan of "underwater handjobs"
We had to introduce ourselves in ethics class. This guy stood up said I'm mark, I love sluts and Jack. Then just sat back down. Hero status.
it's 10:36pm. Do you know where your penis should be?
If there was a saddle on his sack, she would ride it.
Just as I was applauding myself for the best wing man award, I realized we are going to have to burn our futon.
The bartender charged us for drinks. Life is different.
All I remember is folk music and a lot of drugs. I am never going "on an adventure" with you again
I'm going to assume that "the army of generous folk dancers" is no longer a goal you are willing to fulfill
who is that guy in your bed? he looks like jesus..way to keep it festive
I'm not sure when I will get off this toilet at work but it's not looking promising
Stop jerking off to vines my recommended list on YouTube is getting weird.
the fact that you beer bonged rum made me so proud, the fact that you threw up an entire footlong tuna melt after... not so much babe
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