just got my girl scout cookies. wanna get high?
He puked at the bar then immediately procceded to slip in it, they loaded him up into a wheelchair, then the staff and myself walked him outside, all the while never having to pay for our tab. SO using this strategy again
It started out just like any other night: was watching a Zach Effron movie, drinking tequila out of a water bottle. I don't understand how this got out of hand.
My phone saved "first signs of pregnancy" as a most visited search.
Oh and in case you were wondering it is not a good idea to eat weed brownies and then go out to the bar. When I got off the bar stool my high had just hit me and I felt like Bambi taking his first steps
I just masturbated to a Jock Jams cd. What have you done today?
I took shots of absinthe with my mom just now. Except awful things.
It's hard to be judgmental of others when you are wearing silver pleather.
We should probably go now, otherwise the whores will descend.
He has what he calls a "Ben Franklin". It's a pubic hairdo based on the man himself; long on the sides and bald in the middle.
If you've ever wondered what a shitshow is, just watch me at the bar on a Friday. Or Tuesday. Take your pick.
He has no idea he's waking up in slut palace tomorrow morning
You have not lived until you've had your brains fucked out on a broken down Tunnel of Love ride. Life is good.
We had a moment of silence for all of the orgasms he gave me with his beard before he shaved it off.
dude. that's the chick that BIT MY DICK. it doesn't matter how hot you think she is, trust me man.
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