there are singles shoved down my panties. this is the type of summer job i always wanted.
nothing cures the holiday blues like an open bar
You lit the bowl with a rolled up paper towel that you ignited on the stove.
she just uttered the sweetest sentence in the english language...my stripper friends are coming over
I try to help out whenever I can. Speaking of rough nights I woke up half naked on Brady's couch with bloody paper towels duct taped to my foot.
I ended up taking shots of whiskey and chasing them with potato wedges, I have never felt more Irish
Pretty sure I tied my shoes laces together to keep myself from driving drunk. Fell like six times. Keep forgetting
If this wasn't a work function my tits would be out already.
once again, we need to groom him to be a better human being. using liquor and tits.
Seriously though a big penis is like a puppy dog, or a sunny day or some other glorious thing
You are such a penis elitist
new dating motto: let your guard down, not your panties
I was gonna respond but i couldnt figure out a way to rearrange 'fuck his brains out' to sound grammatically correct
Lesson Learned: It's not a party until someone pisses their pants.
my downstairs neighbor came by to say he’s having a huge loud party tomorrow, handed me a toblerone bar, and said thank you in advance for your understanding
If the amount of time the owner spent looking at my tits is any indication, I’d say I can probably sleep my way to the top
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