i wonder if detective benson from law and order takes those handcuffs home. i bet she does.
Desperate + desperate does not equal a fun night.
The album was titled "Best Night Ever" until she found out she was preggers and switched it to "God Punishes Sluts"
is the shake weight an appropriate valentine's day present?
it's been a while because I don't count the hooker
We bought home drug tests to see which of us could make it look more like a kaleidoscope. What happened to the days of innocent fun trying to best everyone with a breathalyzer?
Can we make a sex game out of monopoly somehow?
I was just the victim of a drive by judging in a horse and buggy.
The fuck? Where?
St. Mary's. Amish people. Too high for this.
Oh man, are we repeating last 4th of July?!
That shouldn't even be a question, it's a tradition now. Hope your manhood is ready.
There was a deer right in front of me when I came. Sex in the forest is awesome
Everyone thinks I'm sleeping but I'm actually just melting.
I'm only bisexual one week out of the month. Nothing like ovulation hormones to make the genders of my hookups seem completely irrelevant.
I just had all of the sex. All of it.
I must stop trying to make out with my friends when I'm hammered.
I’ve got a closet full of cosplay outfits and horny boytoy to help me ride out this pandemic
Randomize
