i have the same doorman on the day shift as the guyi shacked with has on the night shift. he just laughed at me when i came home this AM. FML
Did yall have sex?
Well we both woke up naked and there was a condom wrapper on the floor, but I don't remember so does that count?
Def not... that's how I managed to keep my number under 10 for all of college- If you don't remember, it didn't happen
90% of the problems in your life are directly related to your vagina
I wish i could go to google and type in drug dealers and it would bring up a number, a product and direction
you started crying about dinosaurs being extinct
that's why i woke up holding that dina girls hand
she's a dina-saur
At what point last night did I start ordering doubles?
Right after we had the just friends talk..
i was concerned for your health after you took your "last shot" four times...
In my defense it was my birthday and I really wanted to do it.
Leaving ole miss girls house to go to the stripper girls house. Why did it take losing my job to start getting laid all the damn time?
Don't worry that pussy is fresh, I'd brush my teeth with it.
I have a fannypack full of condoms and acid. Let's get weird.
I found a phone book at the party and started calling everyone with my last name asking if they wanted to form a club. I'm meeting one for brunch tomorrow...
I want to pinterest what I want to do with my pubes. Why isn't there a board for that?!
Taking my underwear off at work was one of my better decisions this weekend
I drank beer out of a Frisbee and it was all downhill from there...
Randomize
