absolutely 100% incorrect. and i love you more you silk skinned goddess
I think tequila should come with a little jiminy cricket
you called me at 4 am to tell me you found the cracker barrel location where we'll have lunch next week
Dude that musta been some handjob last night. The sound of her pandora bracelet kept waking me up
Your penis has nothing to do with my throat infection, sorry...
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
You know me. Don't need roses, just dick and food.
I'm having flashbacks from last night. Did I admit to pausing Whitney's funeral because I was watching porn? I believe I did.
ugh... fuck pirate breakfast. my head is like thirsty.
then looked at this little girl next to me and was like "don't drink when you get older and don't let your best friend be with assholes." she looked at me like i was crazy
Did we seriously just get into a fist fight over kit kats?
He's balder, I'm skinnier. I win. I. Win.
It's a sexual break up. We maintain a friendship and leave any and all sexual attraction out. It's not hard, having a baby is harder than that.
I woke up in a boat, with a life jacket on, tons of beer cans and no lake... I was inside a garage. WTF
How drunk were you? in an effort to seduce him, you demonstrated your lap dance skillz on his dog.
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