Maury Povich's contact info is in our database at work...i should steal it right?
screw that ipod for my birthday.. i just want a weed brownie the size of my face. that's all.
New game: find the sober person in Tbell
Just got physical proof that at 6 am i was running around with raw potatoes threatening to mash them on his floor. Hello, Mobile uploads
When he goes down on me, he stares me in the eyes like a shark mocking it's prey as it devours it. Plus, his beard smells like dirty gym socks. This has got to end.
Ok cuz s'mores night just turned into pina colada after noon and it will be mas fun
He told me he deactivated his facebook because his girlfriend caught him wackin it to my profile picture.
10 points to you
And then we can spend New Year's Day sprawled across the tiles watching greys anatomy and puking into the bushes over the balcony. It'll be great
You were peeing on a bus yelling fuck public transit, congratulations.
Im hitting on this chick at a stoplight when all the sudden. i notice this chick blowing some dude in the backseat.
Immediately after I scarfed down an Applebee's appetizer trio for lunch, my boss sent me on an hour long road trip to pick up some parts. Great. I can't wait to shit my pants on US-31 South.
I swear to go if the response she sends me something along the lines of who the fuck is Mark Hamill I might need to brake up with her.
I really love you gals. I'm sorry again. I'm just super protective of my poutine
I already left my house once this summer. Maybe we could do something in October.
he had a bulletproof vest and a pocket full of lollipops! how was i suppose to say no.
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