DUDE. I'm missing my big toenail. My bed has blood all over it. WHAT DID WE DO LAST NIGHT?
I don't know, but I chipped my tooth and I'm wearing different underwear.
No that means he must've used the nipple clamps
And there might be a gallon of sangria without the lid on the floor in your room. Just be careful when you open the door.
I drank entirely too much. My skin hurts to wear
It's like hey here is one penis enjoy nothing but that for the rest of your life
the night probably should have been over when the guy let her fill out my mechanical bull waver for me because i couldn't read
Jesus christmas you are like the Martha Stewart of threeway planning
I feel like the devil is trying to impregnate me through my eyeballs.
Sorry man, but I'd rather do drugs with strangers than watch sports with you. It's not personal, drugs always beat sports.
Ohh I see how it works, eat pussy and I get Reese's pieces.
I just remember lots of butts and something about ranch dressing.
Take your time. I'm mowing the lawn. In the dark. Drunk.
Somewhere on my work laptop I have a map visualizing all the area codes that Ludacris has ho's
I hope that wasn't done on billed time
I can guarantee that it was
You should of known that i was high if i refer to myself as melting into anything
So I was having a really bad night...so I decided to steal a pumpkin.
Randomize
