Once again you get dinner and all I get is semen on my leg
having sex with you is like teaching a dog to tango, it DOESN'T work
No, drunk sperm still make babies.
I love watching others lives come down to our level.
And then i made him answer questions about me before i took off my clothes
Holy shit bill nye is being consulted as an expert on cnn and hes credited as the science guy. What the fuck is the world coming to?
I just woke up at my desk with "To Whommmmmmmmm" typed on a letter. I have no memory of waking up, getting dressed or driving in.
Jerry just sent me this: IOR GHIT ALL THE BUTTIB. Go get him. Now.
I'm just sayin' man be careful, that chick has castration written all over her.
She kept telling the ambulance to sit down and then started crying when we told her it couldn't hear her
I don't even think NICOLE made a fool of herself last night...
your aware she lit herself on fire, right?
The list of people who didn't throw up last night is insanely smaller than the list of people who did
So it was a successful night I take it?
i let a mormon finger me. i don't ever want to be that drunk again.
Fuck this pandemic. She grabbed the hand sanitizer instead of the hand lotion while giving me a hand job and now my dick is burning and scrotum are on fire
A hand job? Are you 12?
Getting a smaller wine glass hasn’t changed the amount I drink—it just means I get more steps each day. Cheers to health!
Randomize
