I don't get calzones all look the same but taste so different
That was definitely a porn plot just waiting to develop...
It's a law of Nature, girls naturally hate eachother. It's only when there's no competition for a mate that they can hate each other a little less and then are appropriated into the "BFF" slot.
had to check his id this morning to remember his name.... i was wayy off
he looks like a really good dad on facebook
bouncer thought i was tryin to get the license plate numbers of strippers to stalk them. I had to go show him where I threw up to get back in.
he turned the pretty ricky playlist on. its about to go down.
I'm on strict orders from her to keep sleeping with you until you give her a job next summer.
This is the first time since last march I'm gonna be going to a class for more reasons than wanting to bone the girl sitting next to me.
Im doing shots of vodka in the bathroom covered in pillows.
Tornado warnings are fun!
3 a.m. laundry plus 100 proof peppermint schnapps does not turn out well. Not only is there a puddle of detergent outside the laundry room that I spilled, but my clothes were found in the dryer wit a box of Franzia and a 40. Good thing I was too drunk to turn it on.
Relationships are fuckin' work. And you can't just up and leave with no questions when you really just need to get home because you're about to shit your pants.
You're so wise.
She took me to ER. She says thought it was a squirtgun filled with vodka and she was 'marking me for later.' Thank god it's a flesh wound, and we're cool and going to date.
gtg, the cops are here
It's just not St. Patrick's Day until someone pukes on your panties.
I love that you put so much thought and effort into your nudes
I don't send half assed nudes. Go big or go home.
Randomize
