your head's too prwtty to be stuck in the books
only if we run a train.
done.
He took naked pictures of me and told me if I ever got to the Disney Channel level of fame he would help me out. I think i'm in love
Questioning the dried heart shaped nutella on my boobs. Valentines day has begun.
I couldn't find the bathroom last night...so I wrapped myself in the curtains and stuck my butt out the window and peed from two stories up. Thank god I don't remember.
We have six bottles of wine and we are at target buying baby oil to grease up the sleds with, just in case you're interested.
Are we really going to sext in Pokemon battle fashion?
I sent two dick pics to a wrong number and one was in .gif format so it was helicoptering all over the place. I single handedly ruined a child's life.
Back of his car in the Starbucks parking lot WITH HIS APRON STILL ON. Check and Mate.
Holy shit. You won barista bingo AND the Triple Crown in one day.
Mom called her a cunt. I think that's code for "don't bring her over ever again."
If you hear a loud thud and smell ozone, I may have been electrocuted.
BRING THE BAGELS
we had a "who's sex playlist is better?" fight.....
She was on top, but I lost her at "alright, you look like predator."
She said she hasn't cheated on me in 7 and a half days and she'd like praise for that.
Randomize
