Oral text is very safe with the right protection.
So much for the toy store...Not a butt plug in the entire place. See you tonight.
Lady with a stroller in a bar. Think she's out of my league?
the guy next to me needed a pen, so I let him take one from my book bag. my panties are now being passed around the class...thank you for telling me you hid them in my bookbag.
She was giving you that "I really want to blow you but I have to act professional" look. Guaranteed
The walk of shame out of a freshman dorm isn't so bad when you're 25, nobody questions you because they think youre gonna bust them for having weed
Ya these assholes wanted to like sit around and eat cupcakes and watch the notebook. I was like fuck you, I want to go make some people uncomfortable in public.
Sweet. I'm actually coaching my work study into a 4-girl orgy so dinner was kinda important. Yes, I'm the best boss ever.
It's gotten so bad I typed my will out on my phone in case it's over.
The last time I've felt a woman's touch, the twin towers were compromised. You can wait like one week
I couldn't think of the word "bath" so instead I told him I was marinating in soapy water
I could not handle jail. And my very angry parents.
I had fresh baked oatmeal cookies, tacos AND was on deck to give a stellar blow job. You'd think that'd be a win/win/win situation.
I yelled out "blow jobs!" in my macroeconomics class. Ask me more about how my life is spiraling out of control.
In a few weeks I'll be a beautiful butterfly and me and my cat will have to repopulate the earth. WE WILL REBUILD!!
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