i just wanna soil my oats bro
I swear she didn't look like that last week.
I just used my 2 drink stirrers as chopsticks to get a lime out of my drink. I really am Asian.
you were so drunk you slurred your pauses
I just set a weed brownie on fire in the microwave.
Successful day.
got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
I actually had no interest in him until he started talking about his 4 arrests. That made him go from a 5 1/2 to a 8, easily.
still drunk. talking shit to the doc drawing my blood. this has no upside
He said hes taking shrooms and watching jurassic park so we're making a t-rex costume
we need ur ladder
That was nice of you. Thank you for respecting the fact that I got cockblocked by a sophomore last night.
I've decided that my night was probably over when I started eating the penne vodka with my hands.
wearing my old cheerleader outfit to the bar was a great way to get free drinks. i should do this more often
This is a mass text. I will facerape you if you bring me Fierce Melon Gatorade and 4 D batteries.
Whose house did we sneak into and play beer pong for 4 hours at last night?
I honestly have no idea
It should be perfectly legal to tase anyone not wearing a mask.
Randomize
