Def gonna have stinky sex sometime soon. GOT TO! she has eligible friends for you, as well.
you always know who the new freshman are on fb because theyre always wearing prom dresses
I found your twin in sf. His name is ryan. And you are the evil one.
I walk in and my mom takes one look at me and just says, ".... Consequences"
he likes to slap my ass alot untill he missed and hit his own balls poor bastard kept on going.
She said she wanted to have closure sex.
Someone tried to flush pizza down the toilet. Well, at least tried to
Wow way to turn my death into an oppurtunity to get laid
I kind of learned that hotels are unnecessary. Boys will just take you home, but that's tough with a group. I believe in us, though.
I am eating deep fried cinnamon rolls and I found a lighter in my sprinkles. I miss you.
I don't think I will ever be as happy about anything as this man next to me on the bus eating Taco Bell.
As he was cumming he yelled "Yahtzee" then said im free to go. Thats my one night stand
IDK MAYBE BC I WOKE UP IN AN AIRPORT WITH A ONE WAY TICKET TO LONDON
As in, legitimately worried. You just sent me a 6 message long text that did not contain any complete words.
Dude what happened last night?
I don't know, I'm still trying to figure out how I got my clothes back on.
Randomize
