You keep asking me questions like I have this magical thing called a memory
I'll put it this way. My grandkids felt that fuck.
You paid the taxi driver with a comb last night.
I can't tell if your life is amazing or needs reevaluation when "did I get hit with a nightstick" is a legitimate question.
The fact that he just came out makes his Lent commitment to give up gay sex so much more meaningful now.
She's like my safety school. At the end of the night, if I haven't found anyone better to hook up with, I can always call her if I need a place to drop a load and don't want to rub one out myself. Perfect next door neighbor.
Well I sent him a pic of my vagina and sent back a pic of his puppy....so there's that
We ended up debating which Food Network host would do best in porn.
Put some vodka in it
Its 7am
put some vodka in it
I made him laugh his dick is mine
The laundromat is nothing like In the pornos
I’m going to cut back. New Year, New Me
I would never wish less dick on anyone but do what you gotta do
Its safe now. But... Nobody should sleep on my bed tonight.
Why would you ask him if you could lick his chest?
He has a very lickable chest
Is there a number of dicks a girl can have in a weekend before it becomes unacceptable? Asking for a friend
Remember! It’sa long weekend and a holiday weekend and it’s America’s birthday! So don’t short change me!
I thought you were asking for a friend
Randomize
