The elaphant ear plant popped a new leaf ! Wahoo !
Either your mom needs to stop making spagetti or we need to lay off the anal. I cant tell you how much im in pain.
Spagetti cuz im not giving up the other one.
he kept bringing up different times we had sex and i wouldnt say anything back. i would never confirm nor deny the situation...like a politician ya kno
First shot of my 21st. 11 a.m. in econ class. Success.
apparently i'm really good at getting wasted, having sex all night, getting multiple hickeys and oversleeping father's day brunch. this is the third year its happened.
Im in his room watching him sleep. Im going to try and jerk off and not get caught by the nurse.
I was puzzled last night that there were shots waiting for us when we got there. Just read my messages and saw you were ordering from the bar via texts.
He had a tramp stamp of his own phone number. You can't tell me that isn't smart.
it was just another one of those moments where you unfriendzone a friend you assumed to be gay
We're exchanging our favorite porn sites at 9 am. I think this brings our relationship to a whole new level
Video footage says last night I reincarnated as stripper Shania Twain... Man, I feel like a (slutty) woman.
The language barrier was annoying .... So we just had sex. That is how you deal with not being able to chat isn't it???
HE WILL NEVER BE ONE OF US. HE WILL NEVER BE A DECENT, GOD-FEARING WHORE.
If sex isn’t mentioned at least three times at the dinner table, I’m not interested...
I should have known when she mixed malibu and V8. It smelled just like tanning oil and when she drank it she said "Oh well, not the first time."
Randomize
