Packing for the trip... do they take Visa in South Dakota?
i just got cum up my nose. i would have expected more from the captain of the men's lacrosse team
just passed out again, this time at a subway. On a positive not they gave me a free sandwich, pretty sure out pity but at this point i don't care
Would it be in bad taste to ask Marky Mark to sign the vibrator I named after him?
How do you say "I'm sorry I beat you up while cumming" in German?
Why does every bad decision I make wind up having 1000 likes on YouTube?
So I craigslisted sugar daddies and I'm pretty sure I found us one if you can pretend to be asian.
No padding. I spent my whole summer with my nips out. October don't need that too.
I just asked her to come in through the window, this pretty much solidifies the whole fuck-buddy thing...
Can we both just take a day off just to have sex? Is that acceptable as an adult?
Help me help you realize you are a moron
Nobody's dick fell into my mouth tonight
WHAT IS ALL THIS WATER BOTTLE FLIPPING NONSENSE? WHAT IS LIT?
YOUTHS.
Just told my dad about my heroic mailbox showdown. He looked at me strange. I think he thinks I'm high.
You are high.
Remember when I was real fucked up and said I would give up utensils and only use chopsticks for lent?...just got the reminder on my phone.
Randomize
