Jason just peed on the potty all by himself!!
"omg awesome!, you do realize we aren't together anymore"
You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
But I don't consider them one night stands. They're auditions.
i have one hour to talk myself into enjoying giving him a blow job when i get home
I found them in the kitchen microwaving bottle rockets chanting U.S.A U.S.A U.S.A
Being a slut is okay if you're being a polite slut, right?
I found out that they tried to reenact the Snooki drop by using a jump rope and the banister. Pictures say it all.
Still burping lighter fluid. Totally awful.
I vaguely remember stopping for a bag of bugles and some lube and then I woke up this morning with melted chocolate on my hands. I think I love him
But how do I turn off the feelings though?
Vodka.
ETSY JUST SENT ME AN EMAIL WITH THE SUBJECT "SUMER ROMANCE" I'M BEYOND FUCKING DONE
She's the good dick fairy. You buy her a beer and half an hour later the best lay in the place is asking to take you home.
So...I maybe walked across campus last night with my life size Joe Biden cut out.
And then you screamed, "I JUST WANNA POUR MAPLE SYRUP ALL OVER HIM AND RAVISH HIS BODY!!"
All I remember was you telling him there was something behind him so he would turn around and you could slide down his carpeted stairs on your belly without a shirt on. How's that carpet burn btw?
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