Be careful down there, Shane may have pooped on the carpet.
I just made doing the dishes into a drinking game. crafty, or pathetic?
oh and then you called a time out with your penis
I just feel like a girl who's never eaten a pb&j probably doesn't swallow
i think we should start 2012 by becoming clean and sober for awhile and buckle down
ppsyche im wasted where are you
Breathalizer & tazer party did not go as casually as expected.
Just wait til you visit, there will be an endless supply of fresh dick for your demand #economics
stop sending me battleship coordinates and get back here so i can suck your dick
Two run-ins with cops/park rangers tonight and now I'm just wandering around high and shirtless
Sacramento doesn't deserve you
Why wake up next to a guy when you can wake up next to a bag of chips and not have to worry about what kind of std you might've caught
Dude, I'm trippin balls. For real, I thought this bag on my floor was my dog for the longest time...
And I just got smacked in the face by my cat. Apparently I'm supposed to be awake now.
This town is a penis wasteland. I haven't seen a suitable penis in months. This is becoming an emergency situation. I need penis in my life
Bacon and your penis are involved. Of course I'm going over.
i need something from you. video yourself doing naked jumping jacks and send it to me. it will make me smile
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