It saddens me that girls will never know the wonder feeling of pulling your sweaty nutsack off of your leg.
he just kept saying that he had liquor dick..then he tried to fuck me without removing his pants.
I just woke up. In the port-o-potty next to our tailgate. an hour after the game started. explain.
for a minute I thought I needed to put on pants to go get a burrito, but then I remembered I'm in college
I saw your arrest video on youtube. you look so thin!
You should make cookies and when I get home we can have a slow motion hug and eat them
next photo in the 'cherished memories' series- Jess's bed. Note the vomit actually UNDER the pillows. shes a genius.
I thought my dog was a polar bear. I kept asking how the north pole was this time of year.
Today's been pretty great, I went and bought the new Batman for the sole purpose of masturbating to Bane
Guess who just bought an ounce of pot via Paypal, and paid for it with my airline Visa card to earn miles?
Congratulations. That business degree is finally worth every penny it cost you.
i was so unappreciative the bar was giving out sweatbands UNTIL I casually used it during sex.
Turns out, it's impolite to repeatedly request Seal "Kiss From a Rose" at bars
My whole life is a joke
Yeah. I’m starting to see why you drink so much.
u would mumble something and then get unnecessarily loud and say random shit like 'id fuck the shit out of taylor hanson right now'
Still had our rainbow strip poker new years tradition. End of night we were only wearing mask.
Did you get the usual surprise pics from the strange straight you like to sprinkle in.
Randomize
