First rule of pills: If you can't remember what it is, take half.
she just asked me to help her create a twitter page for edward cullen's hair.... seriously.
I wish my period boobs were my regular boobs.
road dome is illegal, just asked in driving school.
I don't think of it as I'm taking a pole dancing class...its more like I'm making myself recession proof
She's trying to figure out what kind of dinosaur I am... Yay codeine.
I just took my birth control with a water bottle I found in my purse with vodka in it in Spanish class. 10am is still too early for me.
I like to balance the number of cups of coffee to bong rips in the morning before work.
The worst part was when I went to go spit it out and rinse my mouth, his grandpa was in the bathroom, so I had to fucking wait. It was awful. I finally ran to the kitchen and prayed his parents didn't come out of their room.
Is she okay?
She may want to issue revenge punches, but medically fine.
He used pronouns for his penis while sexting. I don't know what I did to deserve this.
Kick open the door, strike a pose, steal a boyfriend, end scene.
I guess daylight savings isn't a holiday we need to celebrate for three days...
i dunno but you just looked at him said "youre making me really wet" and straight pissed your pants
Three cans of beer can fit in the shower catty... multi tasking
Randomize
