I may just buy something cuz i have 6 weddings in the next year and a half.
Holy shittt I don't even have a bf
i havee beer in my backseat and a glow in the dark condom in my cleaveage.
you're going for the gold here.
Well maybe next time you won't tell me to do whatever I want.
please come you make the beer taste better
New moon trailer came on. Theater booed. I love these people.
I'm having a self conscious moment and I need your complete honest opinion of my boobs.
Reached a new low. Drinking Wine from my thermos while on the stair master.
you're asking me why i keep burn ointment in my purse.... do you really want to know the answer to that question?
When the doctor said the anal leakage might not be reversible without some lifestyle changes you start asking if it's worth the entertainment value.
nothing worse than walking out of class after 3 hours and having covered exactly zero information
walking out with herpes. that would be worse
IM TRYING TO BE RESPONSIBLE AND ALL I WANT TO DO IS FUNNEL CHEAP BEER AND SCREAM ABOUT HOW MUCH I LOVE OUR NATION
The bartender had to walk me home last night. New high or new low?
Someone just needs to roll me into a blanket burrito and feed me drugs
it's like he didn't even know what a vagina was
Thanks for the reference. If your boss hires me, I'll buy you a drink.
If my boss hires you, I'm going to need it.
Randomize
