You're so nebulous sometimes
Do you know how hard it is to conceal the fact that you puked all over the bed that someone is sleeping in?
sperm doesn't mix with malibu too well
I just stepped on my own foot and apologized to my shoe... THAT high.
Ifound a recepit for a hotel room in my sock. soo.. Ithink thats where my dog is.
Ps. The strap-on in the pic i sent you last night was not mine. Just wanted to clear that up.
Hey do you have a way to post bail? If not we can hook you up. If a police officer is reading this please ask him and respond in a timely fashion. I am concerned for my imprisoned friend
I called my dad at 3 a.m. because I thought he'd be proud that I didnt get arrested. Daddys little girl at her finest...
Soooo fucked this chick last night! While fucking she started talking into the fan on the side of my bed. Does that count as sex with a robot
I just threw up 34 cents. What in god's name did we do last night?
i fell into a bathtub last night and broke the fall with my forehead. my forehead is bruised
So my booty call knows your bf. Apparently they were in jail together
Got home and told boyfriend what happened. He was like "you made out with a guy you call Balls Deep?" and hi-fived me.
I'VE LOST MY DIGNITY, MY PRIDE, AND EVEN MY BOOTY CALL. HAPPY THANKSGIVING.
If I'm not there when the plane leaves, I didn't make it through security. See you at home! Vegas bitches!!!
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