If Jimminey Cricket were here with me he would be so disappointed.
That blackeyed peas song was on, so I thought that was prediciting tonight was going to be a good night. And then my garage door opner fell and hit me in the head.
I literally just copy and pasted that from another bbm convo bc I'm far too stoned to explain that again.
how do i tell him I'm always in the mood without sounding like a slut?
We're listening to the crystal method and doing bong hits for jesus
How are you texting me from 1998?
I just found a bottle of gin in my vegetable crisper. Party is back on.
Apparently we were arguing for captain seats so I shouted "who has your virginity." I got the seat.
Bonus points if someone shits their pants. Only 1/2 bonus points if it's you
Bonus points are bonus points regardless
Just pulled a muscle trying to take a naked pic. I think it's time to start working out again.
Just traded a sandwich for anxiety drugs outside the club. I fuckin' LOVE this place.
Totally thought something squeezed my boob. Then I remembered I was wearing a bra. Isn't weed great?
a large sweaty girl i dont know is sleeping in my bed. A scotish man and a small child looking dude are on the couches im on the floor sleeping and im ok with it
I wonder if my sister will drive me around while I do bong hits in the back seat..
This morning, I found 5 naked people in Steve's bed with post sex hair, and Steve fully clothed sleeping on the ground.
well we woke up in different beds than the ones we originally fell asleep in, you were butt naked, and your boyfriend was sleeping on a cot in the middle of the kitchen. that might be why he's mad.
Also I literally googled "how to fold socks" so that's how my day is going. How's yours?
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