if i could have babies with my dog i totally would cause i know thay would be fucking hott babies.
I took a bird feeder and filled it with alka-seltzer. Can you say fireworks?
Whatever you do to me, stop, I found yet another blonde hair in my asshole.
and his room smelled like strippers, childrens tears, and fear
Doing tuck and rolls down a stair case was not my brightest idea
I vaguely remember taking a shit behind the shed before I started puking over the fence. No more Xanax.
I went up to get a drink from the hotel room. And ended up getting arrested in the lobby. Spring break has not been forgiving this year.
he went to have surgery in the morning and apparently they found lip gloss on his dick
We convinced you to take a shot out of the sponge...there were still suds in it.
No He hasn't done that since the time he came in his own eye
i'm soo broke, the only trip i can afford for spring break is acid
On duty sugar tits. A Marine never abandons his post to take nudi pics.
I'm terrified that I'm going to have a baby with a guy who posts snapchat stories while ignoring my texts
I kinda wanna drive through the Gator bar parking lot and seeing if my panties are on they ground, they should be right next to my pride...
You mentioned his name and i threw up a little.
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