I loved tuna sandwiches so much in grade school it was so embarrassing
Everyday all the kids would be like oh grosss whose eating tuunnaa
My gyno told me the birth control she prescribed reduces sex drive
wats the point then?
after you took your Demerol you started flying around and talking like the robot ship on the movie Stealth. then you licked my iPhone and declared the mission a success.
He wants to be 'in an open relationship'. Fuck that. That's the online equivalent of letting him pee in a circle around me.
Just got roadhead in a driving snowstorm. That shit should be a Winter X games event.
We're past the whole "Did she just try to finger my ass?" Stage. Now it's encouraged.
You are mentally unprepared to be exposed to my degree of perversion.
I just horrified a large group of people. Congrats on dating me.
Tid bit for you to add to your "what to expecting when you're expecting to lose your virginity" book... Sex on nyquil is cheaper and BETTER than sex on esctacy AND you sleep like a champ after so you're not able to think about any bad decisions made.
We're all getting matching jack daniels tattoos. We're gonna be an alcoholic gang of awesome.
Had sex with the Irish bartender in Spain. So that happened.
Dad's teaching me to make moonshine this weekend as "college prep". How scared should I be sis?
At first I was nervous about leaving him my undergraduate legacy, but apparently he made out with lesbians, woke up with hickeys and a different shirt. My family name will survive.
That's not the problem. The problem is I thought I was over him but he smells nice today.
You gotta do what you gotta do. Like how I gotta drive in the rain to go get chicken nuggets. I just gotta.
Randomize
