fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
Theyr drawing diagrams to try to explain to me how high they are
is it just me, or are high schoolers getting sexier?
I've blown him so many times I feel like I have a better relationship with his dick than I do with him.
I'm also 3/4 on the frats. Its like my goal of traveling to all 7 continents, but different somehow and a lot less morally sound.
Bro what are you doing Thursday the day before I go to jail??
Meanwhile I'm working a fucking flute workshop and I'm one high c away from shoving a flute up the asshole of the next passerby
I was watching porn and wanted to change the tab to another video to cum but I clicked the wrong tab and it was a gif of a dog but I was coming and couldn't do anything so did I jill off to a dog? I feel like I should be guilty
He was so drunk we almost didn't even make it to his place because he didn't know where he lived
I'm just imagining Oprah like "you're popping a boner, and you're popping a boner...EVERYONE IS POPPING A BONER"
just called AAA to get my keys out of me car and then afterwards realized they were in my pocket...stoner life
...and with one comment dissing Hannibal Lecter, I suddenly understood why we never worked out.
My grandma just invited me to gate crash a funeral for the free food. Priorities.
I feel like that japanese guy who ate all the hotdogs. Except replace hotdogs with sailor jerrys. And instead of a trophy and world record I just get a hangover at work
You’ve seen my tits of course he broke his wedding vows
Randomize
