so all night Ive been that girl with her tits out @ the bar. I mean I dropped jaws, yo. But in a classy way.
I would blow Magic Johnson for a pack of lucky strikes right now. Post-hiv.
I just wasted my iTunes Gift Card on a season pass for Hannah Montana. Bad decision?
is it STILL halloween? when did this turn into a week long holiday
I feel wrong giving my mom a cash gift full of dirty stripper money.
i seriously just licked my laptop for traces of blow from the other night
Remember...the emancipation proclimation is your favorite document, you love asian women, japanese food is the tits, and you willfully employ as many latinos as possible...
He sent me an email apologizing for sleeping with her...and by that I mean he sent a picture of his dick to my school e-mail
do you know how hard it is to walk a mile drunk on 151 it's hard yards are soft and every girl looks good
I have a way to get him back. you're going to have to take one for the team and make a visit to the health department. you in?
I don't care if there's a party or not. I just want to be half naked in a cape with a never-ending supply of alcohol within arm's length at all times. Make it happen.
Get your ass over here, we're drinking Patron and watching My Little Pony. Patron and Ponies, do you copy?!
Wish me luck. My vagina needs it.
May his noodley appendage touch you.
If I die, sorry about rent.
Vulcans are sexy now IT HAS BEEN WAY TOO LONG SINCE I'VE GOTTEN LAID
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