i wish that high-me and normal-me were two different ppl so that high-me could thank normal-me for setting out a feast before smoking
I wish that high-you wouldn't text me stupid shit at 3:30 in the morning
States back in the final four. Now our sunday night drinking has purpose. Sparty on baby.
Yeah I'm buying him lunch right now because I shot him with the fire extinguisher last night
I just opened up the mens room door to a dude pissing in the urinal and pointing at himself in the mirror
there's a wings menu taped to my wall. don't tell me i don't have my priorities straight.
If I die tonight. Just know that chicken I made fuckin ruled. Recipe: Chicken with a shitload oF spice
Don't worry I drank 7 more beers & brought home a guy that bit me at the bar.
If it snows I'm just gonna sit at my house in my costume and drink beer by myself all night.
New low, passed out while taking a shit for an hour with my parents home, suprised they didnt notice
Not a clue. But I did find out that his penis has a British accent.
Hey your work video crashed my computer. The 8 pornos running in the other window didn't. Congratulations.
is it wrong to hook up with someone at a memorial drum circle
Was just messaged by someone in a Power Ranger suit on OkCupid... Figured you would approve
It's a sad day when you're not really phased by the McChicken video only because you've seen weirder porn.
Dude, she was there with her husband and I was there with my wife. Of course we banged in the bathroom.
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