I cant believe we actually had a nipple party!
If my vagina had boots, it would be shaking in them.
I caught a rooster roaming Edison Park then released it in the bar. They made me try to catch it again and somebody played the chicken dance while I chased it
hows a nice way to say "yeah i would go to your dorm, but it's snowing and I know you're not going to blow me, so what's the point"?
I'don't know who your are but its that time a day. Drunk it up. Did you buy a House for goundhogs days?
After four attempts, his condom would not flush. I had to remove it with salad tongs.
Seriously this night has "go home now before you cry, puke or scream on someone" written all over it.
Just induced vomiting to put out a carpet fire.
Everyone is cheering
Lab coat again saves the day - hiding embarrassing shart evidence...
Last night you found an onion ring in your fries and then you started singing "A Moment like this"
she got the mcdonald's logo tattooed on her ass. sober. yesterday at noon.
I woke up naked with a $20 bill taped to my titty, so I must of had fun.
after last night, ive never not wanted to live so much in my life.
this is the second night in a row i've fucked a guy i met on craigslist. and it wasn't even a post for sex. i posted a housing ad. A HOUSING AD
It was platonic naked porno viewing, I swear.
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