Dude. I haven't taken a shit in a week.
Try anal, it works wonders.
so all night Ive been that girl with her tits out @ the bar. I mean I dropped jaws, yo. But in a classy way.
remember when mike pissed in his pants and then put a double cheeburger in the pocketsss of said wet pants for "safe keeping"? yea drunker then that.
You were waisted for 48 hours and the only 3 words you said were yup, sure, and michigan
Is it bad that now when i read ingredients in the food I eat i only read it as shrooms instead of mushrooms ?
the plan is to continue having sex with all three of them until my birthday, and then once they've given me their presents, they can find out about each other.
does it still count as break up sex if it's 4 months later? sorry i'm just looking for an excuse to fuck him.
Think worst case scenario and then dress sluttier
Your friend, the one I told I would brush his teeth with my tongue, what's his name again?
You were running around yelling "BUKAKE!" and squirting people with a shampoo bottle you found. Total shitshow.
It was the best of bangs; it was the worst of bangs.
That's what you get for dating construction workers you meet in tunnels.
Like who needs a job and family when you can get drunk for free with strippers?
someday i'll meet a man and who loves me as much as i love getting drunk and starting fires
My vagina cried when he left. I think she's about to be at war with my self respect.
Randomize
