Do you think the new Crest Whitestrips Advance Seal would stay on while I give him head? It would be great to knock out 2 things at once...
her last google searches are 'cheap african safari' and 'what does lion taste like'
Why do you apologize after every time we have sex?
I feel like you just avenged me for every guy who came in my hair
my mom just called and warned me someone is trying to serve me, i feel like i'm playing an extreme game of hide and go seek these next weeks
I dont think a "sorry ive slept with most of your teammates" text will do much
I keep reminding myself that my vagina isn't a homeless shelter.
Although, I did get to see a Raiders fan and his toothless girlfriend get roughed up by the police and dragged out of the stadium. So the night wasn't a total loss.
Oh fuck. There is like a human shit on the sidewalk. I hate this place.
He offered to buy me free breakfast if I stayed at the hotel overnight with him. I then realized they have a complimentary breakfast.
A milkman. But instead of milk I'm delivering marijuana. And instead of a milk truck it's an armored car.
You're a weed delivery man, in an armored car?
Look at the picture I MADE him take with me...like why??? He's holding my foot?
My phone just said I texted someone at 430a and said let's fight. Then I texted them an hour later and said thanks.
Cancun blessed me with a drinking problem
THEY HAVE BEEN GOING AT IT FOR 2 HOURS AND I HEAR THEM BANGING THIS IS BULLSHIT
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