Its sad we have to plan out fun a month in advance. 30 sucks.
I just threw up during my phone interview for the largest PR firm in the world.
oh but the power of the cock will take you to places you never been..i flew to hawaii once to sleep witha chick
I'm not entirely sure what we did is legal in the U.S., but I know that couple wont be the same
So somebody asked her is she's okay.She turned around,started running and screamed "Ballet is running through my veins" before doing a small pirouette.It's amazing how she managed not to fall.
he tried to give me his business card but gave me his health insurance card then realized it and offered to take me to the strip club
Look if 10 am was too early to go barrel tasting the winery would not be open.
I was just too high to be in rapids man. I just screamed for the entire time I was jostling about.
I hate him. I fucked every one of his friends AND his fat brother and he still won't break up with me.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
it was her dad's 50th birthday kegger. Within the first 5 minutes I got punched in the ear from an off-duty cop and smoked a joint the size of my vibrator.
oh yeah, and she got boxed-out by said cop. Then her dad turned around and high-fived him for it
We're going to ride the bus of mixed signals all the way to unrequited love town and that's where I'm going to live my life and then die.
Tears For Fears is the only thing getting me through life at this moment.
The cat just brought me a bottle opener. I think she's my soulmate.
I'd ask how but then you'd tell me.
All I know is when I asked you how many fingers I was holding up, you said "Hippo"
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