1:12am: That's just how i roll, and this dress she is wearing is dirty and needs to get pulled over her head.
I may be the first guy in history to get dome while watching An Extremely Goofy Movie.
I forgot to tell you the best part. The folded up paper he wrote his number on opened up to be a picture of him when he was younger wearing a Columbia tshirt in front of NASA and in pen said his name and "space consultant."
There was a picture of him proposing on the night stand and their dog watched, but I can't help myself, his dick is just so perfect.
Dont make this weird.... I was wondering if I could paper mache a few of your dildos this weekend?
I just want to have such an intense orgasm that my heart stops and I die. I mean that would kind of suck for the guy I'm fucking but then again he could be like "I'm that good"
Also, no joke, I think that raccoon hair is still in my eye from last night.
I'm going to pretend you don't watch My Little Pony and focus on your large cock. Kay? Don't bring it up again.
HOW DID ALL OF US MISS THE OBVIOUS: I'LL SHAKE YOUR SPEARE
One of my life goals was never to see an uncircumcised dick. I guess that's out the window now.
Did you or did you not grab my boob while I was making out with the foreign kid?
I don't know what's worse the fact that I woke up with a clit piercing or the fact that I didn't pay for it.
It has now been 10 days since we last saw Sebastians penis
I'm gonna adopt her diet plan of secretly sleeping w a desperate ex... It combines excersise & loss of appetite due to guilt
He has a penis. Therefore, he counts.
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