You know, as long as there were ice cream breaks, I would totally eat chips for a living.
we fucked to don't stop believing. most epic sex EVER.
He tried to blame not having a condom on the economy.
I just got over my period in 3 days...I believe that is god's way of saying "go fuck an amazingly attractive Italian boy on vacation"
Tim said I dropped my taco in a puddle and still ate it.
i woke up this morning and saw her in my bed and i said to myself, I think I might have a drinking problem.
Huh interesting. Well thats too bad. Did he catch on?
I doubt it. After sex he sat there naked until the episode of fresh prince (which had JUST started) was over.
I just want to have normal problems like what kind of puppy to get, or should I pay a hooker to fuck Scott, or even a dilemma about fucking Twizzlers. I don't know.
I puked up my nose. THAT kind of night
Omg. We have to workout today. I just looked at myself in the mirror and thanked a god I don't believe in for drunken boys and dark rooms.
My nerves will need dicks later so.. I'll call you
It's sad that I'm more proud of my Twitter account then my resume
got a free grilled cheese. Didn't even have to talk about Jesus
Sometimes I wish I could tell all my past/present hookups what the nicknames that my friends and I have assigned them.
I just put together something from IKEA so that’s mandatory oral for a week.
Randomize
