i finally found my car by the hideout. it was parked in an employee only parking space with a torn up piece of paper in the back window with the word employee scribbled on it.
Now there are nude photos of that bangin hot Russian spy chick...this is officially the best scandal ever.
I cant leave dude. theres a horse with a top hat on
I'm hoping you can explain why I woke up with what I believe is pumpkin pie all over my body
Guys, I'm sleeping in the BOYNTON LAUNDRY ROOM. if you can, come let me out in the morning as I have no keys. I might be in the study room possibly. DON'T FORGET. I will be trapped
He just showed up to brunch with one shoe and only the battery from his phone.
Woke up Christmas Eve morning with my face smelling like ballsack.. No regrets.
Who the fuck superglued glowsticks to my arm.
Ps this homeless dude just came in hotel bar w a sword sticking out his jumpsuit trying to buy a drink w a 3rd party check
I've never had goosebumps on my dick before. It was definitely not a bad feeling.
i woke up with fake boobs glued on my chest and a large black dildo on my hand. then i had to dress myself and walk home. people saw.
Philosophical question for you: is it better to go into work slightly drunk or slightly coked out?
How weird is it that 2 people I've had sex with have the same birthday and they don't even know each other
You know my vagina and my heart have a mind of their own even when it’s pouring snow.
Banged a guy with 2 broken arms once. Top that
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