Sometimes, in the course of human events, people get lit on fire.
Just saw a girl in a wheelchair puke then rally. Diversity matters.
last time I sleep in the lobby. woke up to some girl asking me what floor I lived on. somebody put me, couch included, on the elevator.
the wall and i were having dominance issues.
Most violent shit of my life. New Years resolution of eating better is already kicking me in the face.
Thats not what we're looking for. I want this kid to suck a lolly pop out of a stripper's snatch.
Got to the gym, getting changed, found a jello shot in my shoes.
He's claiming he can open a beer bottle with anything. He's been trying for a while now with a power rangers action figure and he is just cutting the hell out of his hand. There is blood all over billy
When you're awkward as a teenager, it never goes away. You just mask it. With makeup. And boobs.
I AM AT THE LOUNGE WHERE THEY FILMED THE LAP DANCE IN SHOWGIRLS....IT IS AMAZING
I seriously want to say to him "Do you know how many blow jobs you could have gotten this summer?"
Lmfao a voicemail screaming about you partying with your tits out and a text at 3 am saying you went too crazy... this should be a good one
The cop that got shot in the dick is here, let the entertainment begin.
she's the poster child for how alcoholism can be fun.
"Uno más" are officially my least favorite words in the entire Spanish language.
Randomize
