The midget we rented got so drunk last night he got carted off in an ambulance
why do our vaginas work when we are blacked out?? it's just not fair.
instead of telling him i dont hook up with closet frat guys, i gave him his "straight' fraternity brothers number... pike house will be interesting tonight
By the way, her vagina was so tight i was worried that i would be stuck forever
She seriously pointed at the couch and asked me if she could "ride the talking giraffe". I'll never serve everclear again.
im breathing rainbows and everyone is talking in bubbles whatever you gave me give me more
You're in the clear; you and Andrew did not joint fingerbang that girl on the dance floor last night.
It's okay though. My mom didn't believe that they were mine cuz they were magnums. Having a surprisingly large penis ftw
My new dealer is 16. I have been getting high longer than he has been alive.
I don't see the problem
Guy hitting on me at bar is guy who's Craigslist ad we laughed at the other night. Not even kidding.
No, and she still hasn't answered me...I get a whole series of text messages about Guatemalan anal bleaching but no fucking answer to my question.
I'm sitting in Madison square park surrounded by children thanking god I took emergency contraception
I sent him a topless photo and he complimented my eyes. I'm not sure if I'm offended or pleasantly surprised.
what color bed sheets say meditative warrior but also welcome to my sex dungeon...
navy blue
The fact that you have an answer to that is why we are friends...
Oh my god my purse is too heavy for me to dance with boys cause it has too many stolen sink faucets in it
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