please say your awake. the girl i brought home last night...any idea on a name? she isnt up yet...
Should I feel badly because I just bought a really hot pregnant girl a drink after I lit her cigarette?
I kind of wish I was already fat. So I could eat all I want and not worry about getting fat. Cause I'd already be at that point.
I gave myself a pep talk in the library bathroom mirror. and then threw up in the sink.
Care to explain why there is sushi in the soap dish in the bathroom
I feel like I just gave a blowjob to a freight train.
You're just horny.
Yea, and? I appreciate you as a person too if that helps.
this year we will have multiple halloween identities. lesbian couple meets brian and stewie
I just saw a herd of slutty loofahs run down the street...
Just dodged a state trooper, your weed will be there shortly. Fear the unbustable!
I swear to god if I see a single piece of genitalia I'm driving back to LI and smacking you back to the Italian Renaissance
also I saw his dick in the morning light and it was glorious. Like staring upon your birthday cake you ordered from heaven and going " can't wait to eat that later"
Ya it was crazy the power went just as she was about orgasm and the vibrator got fried with the power surge
Let's just say I peed the bed last night, and I wasn't in it alone. Whoooops
Sorry didnt text you yesterday. had to put restraining order on my ex.
Randomize
