I bought the love spell lotion from victoria secret so it atleast smells like a girl is present while I'm masturbating
I just realized I have my pepper spray, gun, and vibrator all in one drawer. One false grab and I'm screwed either way.
I'm telling you the guy came in bought a box of condoms and all three of the chicks that came in behind him followed him to his car. I want his life
you should be back in the room by now but just so you know. you passed out at the black jack table and they wheel chaired you out. strip club in about 45 minutes. game face bro.
Probably shouldn't have worn my jeans covered in blood from last night to class.
Sitting in back of morning lecture drinking a daqueri from my pink unicorn cup. Pretty sure the girl next to me smells it.
I got written up at work for smelling like sex and vodka. Still not sure how they put that into professional terms.
Look at my fb. It says single. That's the gospel.
I'm the only one who goes to a bar and leaves with an extra twenty bucks and a pumpkin.
I just woke up from quarter beer tuesdays wearing 3 pairs of underwear, none of which are the ones I left wearing...2 Around my waist and one around my shoulder in an attempt at a bra. At least drunk me tries to be decent?
YOU LET ME GO HOME WITH CREEPY RON JEREMY?!?
...and?
I hate when you're right.
I went full Overly Attached Girlfriend. You never go full OAG.
he just exposed your dildo usage to the table.
My fridge door just caught on fire somehow.
There's nothing wrong with using cocaine to keep my heart rate up in my fitness class.
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