She really thought E.D. was a sexually position.
The panties match.
I'll be right there.
Still bad at ganbling. Still good at dringing.
drunk doesnt even begin to explain it. he said he was going to get playing cards from the lobby and came back 20 minutes later with a full set of sheets.
I smell like booze and the valet literally buckled me in, def top 3 walks of shame
Party at my house. Beach themed. Clothing optional.
Wouldn't that make it "Nude Beach Themed?"
At some point i could of swore that you were in my bedroom riding a manatee last night..... I like my new dealer
nothing like walking in the house at 3 am in my panties and a sheer shirt carrying a life sized cardboard dale earnhardt jr
My life has become one weird ass game. No one wins. No one loses. We all just kind of hang in limbo and hope we don't die. Eskimo sisters for life. Please have sex with one of them.
I was like can I please fuck your hips back into realignment
We were at dinner and dad asked me to pass the salt and I suddenly remembered doing body shots when I was blacked out last weekend.
you were bawling because you felt bad for being so drunk and then you asked for a beer
I'm gonna do it. I'm gonna write gay mortal kombat fanfic. May the gods be praised for whisky
I still blew him because I won't let allergies keep me from doing what I want. But I almost suffocated like 10 times.
Im drinking a CAN of bud light at the bar. Do you really think I care anymore?
Randomize
