My boss just gave me full permission to come into work wasted this weekend.
How do guys with small dicks who cheat on their girlfriends get girlfriends!?!
Your cat is quite the conversationalist after some tequila and shrooms
I just took a dump to end all dumps. Other dumps have already written ballads about it. It was the Armageddon dump. Bruce Willis was there, it was awful.
I feel like this has turned into my work. But if I get paid sitting under a desk, that's perfectly fine with me.
if any part of your body has ever entered my vagina you are fucking obligated to speak to me if i so desire
Might I also add after my boss threw up in the garbage can and yelled puking rally, he dougied, then told me I wasn't about that life.
FIND ME A DICK TO RIDE THAT HOPEFULLY IS ATTACHED TO A CUTE PERSON AND NICE PERSONALITY
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED. Is it okay if I only get 2 out of 3?
The D is nonnegotable.
The bartender has no bra and is giving out free shots. Call mom I'm getting married.
So I don't know, I'm not a doctor, but I might be juggling dates with 3 different guys...
I FOUND THE LEGS
Lost and found: pink cotton underwear next to my bed and soaking wet Reebok socks or boxers in a plastic bag...in my fridge🤔
My life is over, I got a mugshot while wearing a shirt that said 'milf hunter'.
Im glad your laughing because im currently convincing my penis you didnt mean it and its all gunna be ok.
I've started recycling nudes. Why should I take new pictures for every single man?
Randomize
