Its 6am and I'm sitting on the couch watching Clifford. Crying into my risotto because emily elizabeth helped the girl in the wheelchair get over her stagefright so she can win a trophy. Never drinking alone again.
Let's have sex soon. Just us!! Its sad that I have to specify.
I'm silent, like a masturbating ninja.
how exactly do you say, "i only agreed to meet you for breakfast because i thought we could go to your place and fuck afterwards."
Ummmm you know you're drinking vodka out of a Skittles bag, right?
He came over drunk in a speedo i told him he has my vote he said who are you voting for when i said obama he took off running and shouting i was worthless like an empty beer can
All I'm sayin is that I don't want to raise anything. Or deal with anything. Or having anything come out of my vagina. I mean, I don't think that's asking too much.
Just sent my mother the text "we need to get our vaginas looked at this thursday". Hows your day going?
oh i see... well this is a positive first step in you courting him for sex.
i just sexted for my mom while she was driving, i have hit an all time low.
Opening my shipments of mascara and nipple pasties this morning like a boss bitch
Can you pay somone's bail with a credit card or just cash? I feel like you would know this.
He is obviously into the really short sex we have.
There's a pregnant girl taking shots of apple juice
Are you sure you found YOUR underwear?
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