you are getting stockholm syndrome from your pubes
Watching dad use Doritos to illustrate exactly where to locate the clitoris. How's your family christmas going?
The security guard told you that the room was off limits and you just looked at him and said,"Its okay, I have a beard".
Can we put your name for the shipping address for penis ice luge?
This is stressing me out. I feel like I need to eat the dick.
i was really disappointed no one would drink beer from our cleavage last night except for us
We used a snorkel as a funnel. Can you say desperate?
I just asked her to come in through the window, this pretty much solidifies the whole fuck-buddy thing...
I still regret not being there for your blackout into the dumpster last year
And when I feel bad about myself I go to the library and suck my pen over an open book, counting the seconds until a guy sits across from me and tries to get my attention
I imagine it like the scene in Sorceror's Stone, but instead of flying keys, it's flying dicks.
That is a dream.
No dude shes like 5 feet tall and maybe 100 pounds... Normally i wouldnt be scared but someone gave her a bat. Thats why im in the bathroom
I am mentally ready for anal.
The couple in the apartment next to mine are both opera singers. I’m never sure if I’m hearing them banging or doing vocal warm-ups.
Sometimes you have good days, sometimes m you delete 360 screenshots off your camera roll.
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