im sitting in my room wearing my power rangers shirt watching a movie about a magical dragon. Ive totally forgotten what having a sex life is like.
You were sitting at the bus stop holding hands with some Polish girl you just met, who was just as drunk as you were, and you kept trying to light your Kit Kat and smoke it.
Is it bad that I stopped wanting to fuck her as soon as I noticed she had dry skin?
I sometimes completely doubt that you're straight.
So, does it mean i'm loose if he can't even tell when he fell out?
my nipple ring is gone but someone was nice enough to replace it with a paperclip
I can't wait for the day Google doesn't remind me that I got arrested for having 3 shots called 'frog cum' lined up in front of me.
He got naked and made a run for the door so I had to stop him.
Came so hard when I was riding him that I actually bit some of his chest hair off. He said I was the first girl ever to do THAT.
Are you stuck outside of your house because you forgot to walk up stairs? Cuz I've been there.
I guess "Ass Fun Friday" is not a thing no matter how many times I say it or bring it up in conversation...
Saw 2 lesbians fist fighting outside the bar tonight. I was startled yet slightly turned on
idk i usually just blame everything on steve
Steve quit two months ago
only i would get off to receiving death threats online
i was too drunk before they even got here. i took all their phones instead of keys and hid them in the freezerr...im an awesome party host.
If I don't get alcohol poisoning from tonight I don't think i ever will.
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