so chris just stuck his hand between rachel's legs and yelled 'TROUT!' and we were like...you're wasted
When black out puking doesn't involve crying and promises to never get drunk again... to just a subtle, 'excuse me while I go vomit in the bathroom of this bar'.. you know you've finally grown up.
I'm sorry that spending new years with you was fucking my boyfriend in your bathroom multiple times
he belly flopped onto the beer pong table, and almost boke his face, so at that point we decided swimming would be safer for him.
High school girls are buying me shots. This will not end well.
Also I'm very proud of th fact that I walked my dog before bed. Drunk dog walking should be an Olympic sport; it takes SKILLS.
I got up before the sun today. That makes me sun for the day.
When did you start smoking in order to be high by 4:30?
I can't turn my head to the left, I'm pissing out of my ass, and my finger went through the toilet paper today... I need you.
I walked into the bathroom of the hotel and she's in the bath tub with a guy she met a day ago. They were sharing a shrimp cocktail platter and shot gunning bud lights. Oh and it was noon.
He threw a twenty at the stripper and asked for change
well did he get it
....yes
Hold your horses dude. Titty pics are a work of art.
My boobs are numb because I've been using them as stress balls
i warned you not to do dabs 20 minutes before graduation. You never listen
Bill says he deeply regrets the incident with the soda bottle
So what if is hockey, you don’t turn down sex with a professional athlete. They work out all day and have amazing stamina. Your vagina will thank you!
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