Nice meating you last night
Not a typo
I wish that guy wasn't missing teeth
drunkie insisted on stuffing the rest of his scrambled eggs in his pockets before we left ihop. we really should have left a better tip
I tried. Now my legs are bleeding and I cracked my head on the coffee table. Never taking your advice again.
I left boob prints on the hood of his car. Something to remember me by.
He has a shower chair now. So he sits and watches me shower. It's kind of creepy.
I may hire someone just to sell my family the drugs they keep asking me for. It's cutting into my doing drugs time.
I made him an O's fan. One pic of my tits coming out of a Baltimore shirt and it was done.
They wont sell alcohol here on election day! HOW THE FUCK DO THEY EXPECT ME TO ENJOY THE ELECTION SOBER?
I threw up for like 20 hours. Im gonna be the DD for the next 5 years.
It's gay softball weekend. Lots of hot gay strangers to go home with.
So apparently I initiate sex in my sleep
Had sex outside for the third time last night. Mosquito bites all over my ass, and i think i have a rash on my nipples. When will i learn.
Just wait till winter
Woke up with a bed full of sand...care to explain?
Isnt is self explanatory?
I'm seriously scared right now. Woke up next to 3 geese and a lot of feathers ..
Randomize
